During this year’s Tutors’ Association conference, one of the key speeches was a talk by the educational consultant, Kathy Weston, who addressed a number of salient points about the very pertinent topic of mental well-being. In a world of unprecedented technological change and ever growing life pressures, the current generation and beyond will be fiercely challenged to reconcile aspiration with balance. According to Weston, 20 per cent of adolescents will self-harm (this is a 68% increase in the past ten years) and 25 per cent will be clinically depressed. We must all reflect on these alarming statistics. Such a prominence of mental health concerns makes it incumbent on us to support children’s mental health.
One of the reasons for such high statistics of mental health issues among children is surely due to the rise in technology and the pressures from social media. The overwhelming role social media has in children’s lives has meant that it is all too easy to measure self-esteem by temporary goals and a striving for a false ideal of perfectionism, which, from the outset, is impossible to satisfy. Past generations never had to confront the ubiquity of the smartphone and this is, understandably, why Weston told her audience that she always insists that parents take them away at night. Heather Hanbury, the headmistress of Lady Eleanor Holles School, provided all the students with alarm clocks on World Mental Health Day, so the children would have no excuse for keeping their phones by their beds. Mrs. Hanbury wrote in her blog that the children should have FOMOOS (fear of missing out on sleep) rather than FOMO (fear of missing out).
With so many challenges for children to tackle from such a young age, the question must be: how do we enhance resilience in the young? Family members, tutors and schools should co-operate candidly as reminders to the children that they never will be alone in facing any issues. A strong support network is important at all ages to promote happiness and resilience. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to never be afraid to ask a question about anything at all, however trivial or foolish it may seem, because, if I did, I would only be mistaken once, whereas, if I had not had the courage to ask, I may bear that misconception for my entire life. Children must feel confident to discuss anything with the adults in their lives, as burying them increases the risk that they may grow into something harder to overcome, at a later stage.
Weston used the analogy of a gremlin as an incarnation of negative thinking to illustrate how such such thoughts can grow into something that seems out of control, if it isn’t properly handled. In the film Gremlins, the character Gizmo ultimately helps to defeat the gremlins by his worldly goodness. He is anything but a typical hero - neither will the vast majority of us tutors ever be. Nevertheless, a real role model is someone who can convince another that they have sold themselves short in their times of self-doubt. Positive reinforcement and praise should always be encouraged because it is in our nature to need confirmations that our hard work has value. A very good piece of advice I once got as a teenager was: humility is not thinking that you’re bad but knowing that you can always be better. The ability to self-criticise positively and humorously is a world apart from the negative thinking that only breeds despair.
It is all too easy to dwell on negativity, especially in the age of social media and the smart phone where unachievable perfectionism is flaunted and portrayed as the goal. As an adult, it is easy to realise, with the hindsight brought about through life experiences, how wrong-headed and harmful these beliefs can be. We must use our knowledge and our responsibility to the next generation, to promote greater resilience and mental well-being, to the children can cope with the issues that the modern world brings and so they are prepared for whatever they may encounter in the future. Life will at times be strenuous, but it also rains us with joy. Feel free to smile at all the beauty we have in this world.
Lastly, here are five tips to promote mental well-being:
1. Work consistently rather than intensely. If we did a bit of solid work each day, I think many of our stresses would be alleviated. It is much better to do 30 minutes of solid work each weekday, rather than two 2-hour sessions each week.
2. Read a book that has nothing to do with the school syllabus. Education is a way of life rather than a segment of life. Reading books purely out of choice is an excellent way of enhancing your leisure.
3. Choose a hobby that doesn’t require modern technology and gets you out in the fresh air! Sports such as football or netball with friends release endorphins and they’re also a great way to socialise with peers.
4. Feel free to do nothing for half an hour. We live in a society that is obsessed with being busy, but times of high activity must be tempered by idleness. Relaxing and watching the world go by can be very therapeutic. Many people find meditation or yoga to be a highly beneficial means of promoting mindfulness and relaxing.
5. Have a good night’s sleep. Even in times when there just don’t seem like there are enough hours in the day to get everything done, it is counterproductive to find that extra hour by staying up late. It is well documented that sleep is essential for memory, concentration, cognitive function and, most importantly, good mental health.
By Gavin Fiddler
